Sunday, March 8, 2015

Day 7: Hopes VS Reality

To Whom it May Concern:

You dream of happily ever afters, Prince Charming, and doing something crazy big with your life. You know you want to be somebody important, but you have absolutely no idea what that means. You hope to publish books, become a successful photographer, write articles published in important journals (or even non-important magazines), and build the house of your dreams.

Of course, your intentions are to do it all with this wonderful man who will not only support each of your dreams completely, but also help you create new ones. You plan to have the 2.5 children and that beautiful picket fence (or even a slightly not so pretty privacy fence). You dream about saving children, and eventually the world, with your perfect family by  your side. You will visit Venice, Hawaii, Alaska, and eventually travel the entire world together.

Maybe you'll be a teacher, a famous interior designer, or even a brilliant architect. You may even decide to become the best attorney out there or even work for a big radio station. You're going to be skinny, look great, be healthy, and live forever! And, by the time you're 30, everything will have worked itself out, and you will have everything you ever wanted and worked for.

And one day, you'll be rounding the corner to 32, only to realize Prince Charming doesn't exist like you imagined him to be. You really haven't done anything crazy big (but you sure have acted a little crazy at times). You have written that book (and allowed it to become covered in several inches worth of dust), started a part time photography business, and you have absolutely no desire to do the work it takes to become published in any journal or magazine (although, if something of yours mysteriously appears in one, you'll be pleasantly surprised). While you have a house, it's no where near the one of your dreams. You've met, dated, and been in relationships with several men over the years (all of which turned out to be a slew of frogs that you continued kissing in hopes of at least turning them into boys). You do have your 2.5 children (dogs count, of course, as the .5) and fences are too expensive for your cheap ass. While you still dream of saving children, and eventually the world, you've realized that the job of saving children, and the world, crushes this dream a little at a time as you go along. Your family is nowhere near perfect, and that's okay, because you love them unconditionally. You still hope to visit the entire world, but have yet to make any solid plans (as long as you reach Venice, Hawaii, and Alaska, you'll be satisfied, but you may have to suck it up and realize you'll be going alone). You're a teacher (just not in a school) and the thought of interior design and architecture sounds ridiculous to you. You actually debated on law school, tossed the radio station idea, and settled for mental health case management (see teacher). You're far from skinny and healthy, but that's okay, because you look great and you'll live as long as God allows.

However, you have discovered you're pretty good at helping others and have decided to further torment yourself with school (probably will never go back after you get your Master's degree). You're also slowly and stubbornly learning what you like, what you want out of life, and what you'll tolerate from others. You're really beginning to step outside your box in more ways than one, and you're continuing to force yourself to uncomfortably step out further.

Give yourself a pat on the back. Life isn't anything like you thought it would be, but it sure as hell isn't anything like it could be. And that's a good thing. You're doing better than you deserve.



Day 7: Where you are in your life vs. where you thought you would be at this point
The Single Woman's 30-Day Blog Challenge

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Day 6: Every woman has the exact love life she wants

"She has to have four arms, four legs, four eyes, two hearts, and double the love. There is nothing 'single' about a single mom." ~Mandy Hale

"Single moms: You are a doctor, a teacher, a nurse, a maid, a cook, a referee, a heroin, a provider, a defender, a protector, a true Superwoman. Wear your cape proudly." ~Mandy Hale

Pretty sure I mentioned it in one of the other days, but not every woman has the exact love life she wants. There is absolutely no part of me that believes a woman married to a man who beats her within an inch of her life on a daily basis wants to be there - wants that type of love. I use that just as an example. Sometimes we feel we get stuck in situations we don't necessarily want, simply because we haven't yet figured out how to get out of them. Just because we haven't figured it out, doesn't mean we want to be there. It may be our choice, but that's only because no one else has showed us there are other choices to pick from, or there are other choices, but there's nothing about them that sound worth the fear of the unknown - of change.

For me, being single is not the exact love life I want. But, then again, neither was the last relationship I was in, or the one before that, for that matter. Single life with children was no where near what I wanted for my life when I turned 18 and flew the coop. But, it's what I have for now. It is what it is, and it's my responsibility to make the best of what it is until something better comes along.

Day 6: Sound off on the quote “Every woman has the exact love life she wants”
The Single Woman's 30-Day Blog Challenge

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Day 5: Lonely can mean peaceful and happy...


I personally feel like there are several about single life that are deserving of attention.

Single life is lonely...
Says who? Sure, it has its lonely moments, but then again, doesn't marriage and any other normal relationship? Loneliness is a sad and horrible part of being a human that experiences emotions, but it's normal. The dictionary defines "lonely" as "sad because one has no friends or company." We all go through spells in life where we at least feel like we have no friends or no one around us for company. And sometimes, we all have periods in our life where we would welcome feeling a little lonely once in a while. The dictionary gives another definition of "lonely" as "unfrequented and remote" such as a "lonely stretch of country lane." So many people think of "lonely" as a negative word, but when I read the second definition of "lonely," I experience more positive feelings such as "peaceful" and "happy."

Single life past a certain age means "old cat lady"....
First of all, I don't care what age my birth certificate says I am, I will never call myself "old." Now, the day may come where I am 85 in reality, but I call myself 45, but you will never hear me define myself as being "old" (doesn't mean you won't hear me say "I feel old" or "I'm getting old"). This is simply not fact until someone shows me where it says that you most certainly will be single forever if you are single past a certain age. And I'm pretty positive one could be a "cat lady" no matter what their age or relationship status.

Being single is sad....
No, no. I've met several married people who are sad much more frequently than many of the single people I've met. Sad is another emotion that all humans will experience at least once or twice in their lives - whether single, married, living with someone, whatever the case. One could be happy more in their single lives than they ever could be in married life, just as one could be sad more in their single lives than they ever could be in married life. It's all what you make of it.

Day 5:  The biggest misconception you think people have about single life
The Single Woman's 30-Day Blogging Challenge