In every boy/girl argument, there’s always two sides of the story.
His may typically consist of simply stating the obvious—that female’s just psychotic—maybe in a less respectful tone.
When asking her side of the story, you get the entire background of their relationship—everything he did wrong—from the day they met up until that particular point in time. Female’s have this uncanny ability to pull things from locked storage bins in their brains that was stored away during the time the dinosaurs roamed the Earth.
Take Jack and Jill for example. Yes, the old nursery rhyme we all should know by heart. I can only imagine the argument that took place at the bottom of that hill. I like to think it went something like this:
“Excuse me; what seems to be the problem here,” asked the first officer on scene.
In a midst of roaring laughter, Jack spouts off something along the lines of, “this girl is just crazy. We were just trying to fill up our water bucket when we fell.”
“Oh no he didn’t,” shouted Jill. After taking in a large gasp of air, “I was just trying to fill my water bucket when that clumsy fool tripped over his shoe strings I tried to get him to tie before we went up that hill, but no, he didn’t listen, and what did he do? He tripped, and that no good piece of crap dragged me down with him. That boy ain’t never cared about me. That’s what he is too, ya know—a boy. He’s a little un-caring boy.
“Officer, don’t you know that boy there can’t do anything right. Just the other night, we were just trying to bake a batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies and this fool goes and starts adding crap to the batter that didn’t belong. He didn’t care about what I wanted—which was just some freshly baked, tasty cookies. No, this fool goes and adds crap like rosemary, thyme, and pepper to my cookie batter, RUINING IT! THEN, I just want you to know, he turns around and puts them in the oven ANYWAY.
“And, THEN, there was the kitchen disaster where he tried to cook dinner on his own and nearly set the entire house on fire!
“And THEN, there was the OTHER time where he ruined the Save the Planet rally I was helping organize! See, this BOY, is nothing but one big screw-up. He deserved to trip over his own feet,” she screamed as she had finally came to the end of her ranting and raving session.
“Oh no, officer, that crazy woman PUSHED me down that hill,” Jack fought back in his defense.
You see how the entire scenario plays out? A conclusion is never reached, because she’s too busy bringing up the previous times Jack screwed up to try to justify her own anger at herself for going up that stupid hill with him in the first place. Two days later, the Martian and the Venusian are living in their happy little word of psychosis, whistling the tune of You Light up my Life. And that, my friend, is the true reason why only those with doctorate degrees are able to fully understand women.
Another Blogophelia Production
Bonus suggestions:
*engage in a green activity
*include a kitchen disaster
*include 2 famous rivers
*use the words you light up my life
*mention a chocolate chip cookie
*mention 3 spices (i.e., rosemary, thyme, pepper)
Final date to post Dec. 7st, 2009 midnight GMT
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