"I'm not that chained up little person still in love with you..." BFF 102

"And I grew strong..."



I wonder how many girls can say they relate to this song in more ways than one? I wonder how many people in general could say they relate to this song in some way or another?

My guess is quite a bit.

Listening to this song, I think back on years of me continuing to torture myself in relationships that were destined to fail.

I think of 7 years on and off of being a slave to my feelings for one particular individual.

I think of the couple years I spent being a doormat in an abusive relationship.

I even think of the years of stressful situations I put myself through, allowed myself to be in, and damn near welcomed with the royal treatment.

I look at where I am today and where I have been since I made the choice to go out into the world on my own. And as stressful as things get sometimes, I am content with where I am. I have survived and overcome many obstacles, and deep down, I know I will continue to do so.

In my line of work, I come across women almost daily who either tell me they could never go back to school right now for whatever reason, can't leave their husbands because they're afraid of them or they can't survive without them, or they just don't have any hope left in them that things are ever going to change within their relationship or their family situation. All these women are filled with statements that have 'can't' or 'couldn't' somewhere in the beginning.

Can't never could.

And that goes for women in abusive relationships just as well as for women who are screaming they can't do the simple things... like go back to school. Yes, I said simple. Not because it's easy once you get back in school or because it's easy TO get back into school, but because it's easy compared to many other obstacles in life that you could come across. It's not easy to get back into school. It's not easy to get through school once you're in. It is difficult.

And, yes, you can get out of an abusive relationship regardless of the circumstances. How? If you can't go through, go around. If you can't go around, go over. If you can't go over, go under. If you can't go under, shoot the son-of-a-bitch or rent Enough and learn something from it.

Whatever your situation with your significant (or not so) other or in your life, get the twins 'can't' and 'couldn't' out of your vocabulary, or learn to deal with the fact that obviously you don't want the situation to change bad enough to change it.