Hickeys Vs. Weed - You Choose

Dameon...

He's a charming 15 year old boy who is very misunderstood by everyone. He's got game - very smooth with the ladies. And he rarely ceases to surprise anyone.

Dameon come home with a gigantic black and red mark smeared across the side of his neck. And low and behold, there's a matching mark half the size on the other side of his neck.

You're his parent.

You think neck blemishes are trashy.

How do you react?

Now, ponder your reaction for a few moments... if it's anger you feel toward your son, take a few moments to feel it really good.

Have you really felt it yet?

Okay, now go back to your happy place.

Here's good ole charmer, Dameon, again.

What's this? Dameon has brought a friend home today.

His friend is sporting a bright, shiny pair of new handcuffs and a freshly pressed police uniform. And he was nice enough to allow Dameon to try on those handcuffs for a few minutes. Sweet of him.

His friend informs you, the parent, that Dameon was caught down the street smoking a joint, and you now have to make sure Dameon, your son, is in the courthouse, bright and early, 9 a.m., Monday morning.

What are you feeling now?

Do you still remember the hickey? Knowing that you have to miss a day of work to take your son to court in just a few days? Does the hickey seem nearly as detrimental now as it did when you first blew up about it?

Now, let's change things up a little.

Here's Alex.

He's a precious little five year old. Your five year old.

Alex screamed at you to shut up when you asked him to clean up his room. You remember that day? You got mad. Your temper took over. He was very disrespectful! He deserved that lick with the switch, right? No five year old of yours is going to talk to someone like that, let alone his own parent!

Here's Alex again. Your precious little five year old.

Today, he's gone up to a child at school and busted his head open against the monkey bars. He can't come back to school for a while. You had a nice, long conversation with the principal today because of it. Sucks for you.

Does the anger you felt when he told you to shut up outweigh the anger you feel now? Does the lick you gave him for telling you to shut up come close to comparing to the beating you're ready to give him now?

In comparing both instances with both children, the first doesn't seem so bad, huh?

Learn to pick your battles. Don't waste energy on the smaller ones. There's always the possibility of bigger ones that will require more.