Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Through Fire and Ice

She bounces through the day as if there's not a care in the world. There's a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye. "Good morning," she cheerfully exclaims to all she faces. They provide her the response she seeks - a false sense of "I'm doing well" with a smile and chipper return "good morning." 

Coffee in hand and satchel across her shoulder, she swiftly bounces through the office door to greet those she assumes she knows so well - those whom she feels she has grown closest to. Her friends, as she sometimes calls them. They're who she knows, and this office is her life. She brings her optimism here - wears it proudly on her blouse for the world to see. 

She provides hope, warmth, strength. 

People around her fall - she picks them up. They cry - she comforts. They hurt - she bends backwards to ease their pain. She loves. She cares. She gives her all. She jumps hurdles to get the job done. Sweat, tears, blood, all streaked across her behind the mask of her joyful smile. 

Through fire and ice, she smiles. 

And she breaks. 

No one sees it coming. No one sees the pain. No one sees the lack of equanimity - the emotional breakdown that shall come consistently, like clockwork. Her friends, they notice not what lies beneath - the dark demons she holds so close to her heart. They notice only what she chooses to show - 

Through fire and ice, she smiles. 

She crumbles; she cries; a little piece of her dies inside. What kind of cruel world is this? What God would allow her to continue living in it? This mental instability is nothing short of exhausting and insane. The demons cry out. They wish to be comforted, but nothing is successful in reaching this goal. They scream; they cry; they fight. She has no way to escape. 

And yet, through fire and ice, she smiles. 

Demons fight her for days, trying to take over - push her aside. She mopes; she moans; she whines. In a fetal position, she begs them to take her, but she fights. She screams; she curses; she hates the world - and remains fairly confident it hates her as well. 

She's tired; she's faint; she's drained. No energy remains. The demons stole the show - a couple battles won. Time to find the smile, regain the twinkle in her eye, and prepare for a hearty "good morning" to those who expect her optimism and hard work. 

Through fire and ice, she survives. 

Fire and Ice
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

Blogophilia Week 15.7 Topic: Fire and Ice
Bonus Points:
(Hard, 2 points) Incorporate the opposite meaning of "equanimity"
(Easy, 1 point)  Include Dark Demons

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