Monday, January 9, 2012

Dear Hormonal Self, (BFF 157)



Dear Hormonal-Stubborn-Ignorant-Hard Headed-Teenager Self,

First of all, listen to your...

You know what?

Never mind.

You're not going to listen to any advice you're given, whether it be by your own self at a later age or someone else.

With that being said, I shall simply show you your future.

You will be in love for years to someone who is a douchebag.

When you finally get over him, you'll realize you really didn't because you let thoughts of him ruin every other relationship you TRY to have with others.

Then you will get over him, and you will smile over fond memories.

And in the process of getting over him, you will cross paths with two men, one of whom you met and told yourself you were in love with, with the purpose of getting over the first.

P.S. That doesn't work.

The second, you will fall for hard. And it will hurt. A lot. And you will hate him. A lot. But you will give all of yourself to him. A lot. And you will beat yourself up over it. A lot. But, in the end, you'll figure out where you screwed up, and you and he will both try to fix things. I'm still waiting to see how that one turns out.

You will be cheated on. A lot. Because you're stupid and naive.

You will birth two children out of wedlock with guy two and guy three. It will be too soon. But you'll love them regardless.

Your oldest child will be sensitive and give you hell at school on at least 15 occasions prior to third grade. Then his hormones will start kicking in and you'll really want to ring his neck.

Your youngest child will be a hellion. Just wait. I'm going to let that one be a surprise. He's just like you, you stubborn, hard-headed, teenager, you.

You will go through a party phase. That will get you in trouble with guy two and is exactly how you will meet guy three. Have fun with that. Guy three basically starts out as your karma for you screwing with guy two's head.

Oh, and all your friends you have now? Yea, don't get too attached. One or two will follow you through adulthood. The rest will either a) sleep with your man or b) grow up and go their separate ways.

You WILL fight your way through college. But, you'll come out on top with your father FINALLY telling you he's proud of you at age 25 and the job you want practically falling into your lap upon graduation.

You will own your own house and eventually buy your own car that will NOT be picked out by your parents and/or grandparents. And it will be paid for.

All that financial crap your dad drilled into your head over the years... yea, it will stick for the most part.

You will be too much like your father even though you are going to try your damndest not to be.

And always remember, you have to live with your life and what you bring into it, NOT someone else. You will struggle the hardest with that concept around age 28. You have to worry about what makes you happy and is best for you and your children, NOT what makes your parents happy or what is best for them. But, remember also, you may have to deal with any consequences that could come of those actions that make you happy. Just pray there are no terrible consequences but a large amount of rewards instead.

With love,

Your older, more mature, more stable, and less of a bitch self.

P.S. Stop rolling your eyes.

4 comments:

Jo said...

Wow,,,if only this was a real letter and you had received it at 16! No, you wouldn't have listened, because like most of us, you had all the answers already.
Nice look at your history and even a little bit of pride near the end...good to see. We all made mistakes and now we all have fewer to make, right? lol ♥

My Not Always Right Peace of Mind said...

If only we could read these letters at 16... Would things really be different? Probably not (lol) Cause we knew it all!

thanks for sharing.

Darlene ~Bloggity Blogger~ said...

"Dear Hormonal-Stubborn-Ignorant-Hard Headed-Teenager Self"...LOL...I love that! Weren't we all? When I was a teen, I thought I was smarter than any adult. HA! I sure had a lot to learn.

I love your letter! So good to see you again.

Shelly Oakley said...

I wish we had listened to the advice we received as teens - would've saved a lot of heartache. Great post!